Thursday, May 22, 2014

NYPD Detective recovers aspiring author's laptop while married couple goes to prison

Breaking News: Detective Salvatore Tadisco from the 7th precinct of the New York Police Department (NYPD) urgently called me this morning to inform me that my stolen MacBook Pro has been recovered and that the newly-wed straight couple who committed the crime are now languishing in prison.

Last month, I escaped my seclusion and hung out with friends for happy hour at Pianos in Manhattan’s Lower East Side. I arrived a little before six pm and for the next four hours, we drank rounds of margaritas and had a jolly time reminiscing about Afghanistan and how I'm going to continue to civilize my Afghan people. Little did I know a “sana-sazee” (scenario) was brewing in which I would humanize my fellow Americans?
I walked out of Pianos, leaving my tote bag with my gym clothes, documents (with my name and contact information) and Apple laptop inside it. Minutes later, when I returned to the bar my belongings were gone. A bartender, manager and I went downstairs to an office where we closely watched hours of CCTV footage to see if my bag was taken by organized crime from under my feet while my friends and I were happily enjoying our evening or stolen after I had walked out of the establishment.

It turns out that a youngish white woman who was with her husband put my bag on a barstool opened to see what was inside and then after the two negotiated, the woman wrapped her jacket around my stuff and walked out—all of which was recorded on security cameras.
After I called 9-1-1, the police escalated my case since I purchased my laptop last June for $2,632.49 and robberies in excess of $1,000 is considered grand larceny. By the time I got home it was sunrise the next day. Since then, I was infuriated when random people stereotypically asked me if the thieves were black or Latino. Today, I have learned that the culprits are affluent, Caucasian, white-collar professionals residing in the tony Upper East Side and had no previous criminal record. They were simply opportunists who made a wrong and illegal choice and had no conscience. Now, they will have to serve a sentence and when they are released from prison they will never be able to obtain meaningful work in the US as felony convictions is frowned upon by most employers.

When my MacBook Pro was stolen, I was disheartened since my first novel which I’ve been working on for the last six years along with my creative assignment and critical research for my Oxford master’s thesis which is due in September was stored in my computer’s software. But today I feel very lucky especially when I am told that stolen items are rarely brought back to their rightful owners. I believe there are several reasons why my most valuable belonging has been returned to me: “duwai Maadar” (my mother’s prayers) and the professionalism of Detective Sal Tadisco and everyone else from the NYPD 7th Squad who were involved in my case.
On a side note, this experience should serve as a lesson for everyone: don’t steal and don’t mess with Nemat Sadat (the dispenser of enlightenment, conduit of justice and voice of truth) otherwise you will seriously get whacked!

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