Sunday, September 14, 2014

As Afghanistan's Foreign Minister, my first trip to Israel

There’s chatter on Twitter that Dr. Ashraf Ghani’s top pick for Minister of Foreign Affairs is no other than yours truly. It’s just a rumor and I’m not holding my breath. But as Afghanistan’s foreign minister, my first official trip would be to Israel. Wearing my karakul yamaka, I’ll pray in Jerusalem's Temple Mount (despite being an atheist), address the Knesset in Hebrew and after normalizing relations, I’ll travel to Tel Aviv where I’d meet with military leaders at Camp Rabin to establish joint military exercises between the Afghan National Army (ANA) and Israel Defense Forces then head to the beaches where I’d flirt with gay capitalists over tropical drinks and then meet with leading government officials to negotiate a bilateral trade deal between the two freedom-loving nations in the region most terrorized by Islam. Zindabad Afghanistan! Zindabad Israel! Two lovers kept apart by enemies who forbid them from uniting and making the world better. Destinies cannot keep soulmates apart forever. As the Afghan proverb, inherited from Rumi, goes, “from heart to heart there is a way.”

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