In the galaxy today, there are three living professors competing for ideological dominance in Afghanistan and throughout the Muslim World: Zakir Naik (the Salafi Islamist), Noam Chomsky (the Anarchist) and Nemat Sadat (the Avant-Garde Libertine). Naik’s preaching is manifested by terrorists: Al Qaeda, Al-Shabab, Boko Haram, Hamas, Haqqani, Hezbollah, Lashkar-e-Taiba, Muslim Brotherhood, the Taliban, the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, the Iranian Mullahs, the Pakistani ISI, the Wahhabi clerics and the rulers of Saudi Arabia. Chomsky’s propaganda is reverberated by Maoists with Malalai Joya serving as their posterchild. And then there's me: the huggable and kissable Afghan King of New York who represents the whole rainbow spectrum of “degenerates” seeking liberation from Islam and desiring a multicultural society where every individual can have a fair say. Just like Naik and Chomsky do since both ironically live in secular states but make huge profits bashing capitalism and democracy. Though, I guarantee you, if either lived under Islam or communism and criticized the state, they would either be disintegrated into acid or rot away in some prison cage. That’s the hypocrisy about my counterparts, who studiously gloss over the beauty of liberalism, don't want you to know. My enlightened coalition represents the freedom-fighters: artists, atheists, the American CIA, the bourgeoisie, evangelicals, feminists, freethinkers, Hindus, humanists, internationalists, inventors, pagans, queers & Sodomites, scientists, secularists, Satanists, Sikhs, Sufis, technocrats, veterans and Zionists. That pretty much sums up the major players contending for power in the Islamic world. Which school of thought do you subscribe to and wish to see win?